We have all been there when it’s something/someone/a client/outcome we really wanted or something we just assumed would go our way. Then that sinking feeling hits when things didn’t, in fact, go as planned. As if the anticipation-induced anxiety wasn’t enough, we also find ourselves dealing with disappointment and dissuasion. It’s natural, rejection is a hard pill to swallow but hopefully some of these tips can help with that.
This might sound a bit frank, but some bad feelings are inevitable. As humans, there are negative emotions that EVERYONE has to experience in our lives. Even if you anticipated getting rejected, it still hurts. So it is about how we deal with these negative emotions. Often people find that it might be easier to come to terms with it by blaming. Blaming the situation, blaming the person who made the decision or blaming themselves for not being good enough. This is not the way to deal with it because this leads to harboring false beliefs, dwelling on it, self-sabotage and makes coming back from it very difficult. Instead, allow yourself 2-3 days to digest the outcome and the pain. What someone else thinks of you is not in your control—but how much effort you put in and how you deal with your emotions—is solely and entirely in your control. One single person out of 8 billion people, cannot determine your worth. Once you have accepted the little span of control, you have come one step closer to developing a growth mindset.
‘If in doubt, zoom out”- Focus on the big picture, counting the positives while allowing space for mistakes. Learning is the goal of your endeavours. Okay, so you also definitely have to plan for success. But, you must also accept that you might not get it right all the time. When you focus on learning by adopting the trial-and error approach, you can anticipate errors better, and the errors you come across give you a lot of info, creating accurate predictions. This way, you’ll statistically improve your chances of being successful.
Adopting a growth mindset means trying. So, by all means, take your time to recover but don’t quit trying. Move on to your other plans but also remember that putting in the effort is fully in your control, so make sure you are giving it your best effort even if you can only manage 10% effort some days. The main problem with rejection is that it wreaks havoc on our motivation. We make great efforts and make sacrifices to achieve something and when they are rejected, we can feel like none of it was worth it. This is especially damaging if you tie your self-worth to your efforts. Celebrating your efforts reframes this and helps you to think more positively which will increase your success ultimately.
You shouldn’t only reward yourself when you succeed. Reward the fact that you tried your best! You got rejected? Now is when you need to pamper yourself—sleep 8 hours every night, eat the food you want, go out and meet people—go shopping. Success does not define your worth, you must reward yourself for the effort you put in.
• Most importantly, practice gratitude. Remind yourself daily of what you are thankful for: This exercise is crucial to adopting a positive outlook and a growth mindset.
By Farlan- netwomen ambassador
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